Saturday, December 29, 2012

New Year Resolutions
1. Donate blood atleast 3 times a year
2. Join an NGO and contribute 10 hours per week atleast for their cause.
3. Talk to wockhardt hospital or apollo and see if you can volunteer your services/time
4. more time with family
5. Get atleast one certification like Java or CISCO or Linux
6. Run 20 km every week
7. Get the Allianz francaise certification
8. Gym 3 times a week atleast

Wednesday, September 5, 2012

Points to Ponder


  1. A picture is worth a thousand words. Stop verbalizing thoughts. Draw diagrams, doodle on a napkin, create hideous powerpoint slides, draw on cave walls with charcoal sticks if you have to - graphic is the way to go
  2. Beware of dogma. Fight it relentlessly. Fight it by convincing actions. Don't fight dogma with dogma.
  3. If you love Paul Coelho then your heart is in the right place! 
  4. Trust not a man who does not benchpress, he is given to tricks strategies and stratagems. - adapted from Shakespeare
  5. Process and innovation may sound orthogonal as objectives. But they aren't necessarily so. Innovative processes and processes for innovation are common. Process is a conduit....innovation is the destination. Ignore the balance sheet. That is a given, if the road and destination are clear.
  6. If you are headed in the wrong direction stop and turn 180 degrees
  7. The right time to stop doing the wrong thing is right now
  8. Do not make people conform. Embrace eccentricities. We crave individuality and we then hire intelligent people and expect them to fall in line and lose their identities and individualistic perspectives. The ones who conform might have suppressed angst or might lose their identities and become plain. And plain is tasteless.
  9. The human state is meant to make about 5 good friends and meet 1 or 2 kindred spirits in their lifetime. Anything else is an unrealistic expectation. All others are acquaintances.
  10. Read Khalil Gibran, Omar Khayyam and Rumi - to experience joy.
  11. Constantly guard against anger. It is a poison tree that eats you from within.



Sunday, May 27, 2012


Our own  battles
-----------------
We are all warriors in our own right, fighting our own battles.
Some battles are worth fighting for; some are not worth the time or the effort.
Some battles carry a huge cost, the emotional cost.
Some battles seem to be never ending. Some battles end surprisingly quickly.
Some victories are witnessed and acknowledged and appreciated by those close to us.
Some victories are silent ones. The final act sounding the end of a battle could be something quaint like a mail or a phone call or handshake.
Some end badly with quite a gale of bitter memories and words spewing out back and forth; embittered souls.
Few rarely lead to blows; albeit those being the easiest to heal.
And then there are those battles which seem to end only to flare up. One would give anything to see the white flag.
All the while one wonders, 'should I have been doing something better than this. Life is too short to be spent worrying and fighting. Is it the human state to be in a constant state of flux'

Friday, February 18, 2011

French connection

Something interesting happened in train to Chennai today. Mom dad and I were travelling and a French lady 55 years old was looking a bit lost and seemed to be asking for directions. I offered to help her with directions and spoke in French. I know a bit. She was very thankful. She works for orphanages and and NGO based in Coorg and she is in Chennai to teach English to some slum children. Next week she is going to Dharamshala.

She was in Bangalore for 1 week and I helped her find her coach C1. Once I moved to my coach and the train moved away I was wondering if all was well with her and called on her mobile phone number which she had shared with me. But she was on wrong train and so had changed trains.

She had a tough time, not knowing the language but her spirit was good; she was smiling ; enjoying the experience.

Some coolies charged her a lot of money 100 Rs to go to the train platform; 100Rs to change to another train from platform 7 to platform 1; and then 100Rs in Chennai platform again; she was upset but was laughing
I have invited her over for dinner with mom and dad tomorrow evening

Would we ever do this; at 55 move to another country; look for impoverished areas there; and then help them
not knowing their language; suffer the corruption and then laugh and move on. This is human spirit -
to endure and persist.

I admire it and appreciate it.
That is my story.
P.S On a lighter note when she was boarding the train I mentioned the TGV (train de grande vitesse) capable of moving at 300km/hr in France. She rolled her eyes comparing it to Shatabdi train which move at a top speed of 100km/hr. It was funny to see her expression.

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

snake!

Yesterday Balaji, a colleague of mine and I met at the Krishna Temple on CMH road and 80 feet road intersection in Bangalore. We usually meet there around 8pm. Something interesting happened. There was a cobra snake that was coiled up in the shoe rack of the temple and it had its hood open. It was pretty intimidating to see the snake up close and personal at 4 feet away. A few well-meaning volunteers had gathered with tongs and wanted to put the snake inside a jute bag. I had learnt from watching Discovery Channel that this exercise is fraught with danger. Since the snake has the infra-red sensory pits it can thermal-image the handler outside the jute bag with a high degree of accuracy and one must be extremely careful of this. The volunteers had a plastic pipe into which they were planning to cajole the snake into. That might work only if it mellows down.

There is something about witnessing the hissing strike posture of a cobra that curdles the blood. One's primeval fears are materialized. One wants to run but the legs dont oblige. One is transfixed by the spectacle marks as the serpent sways. A mesmerizing toxic beauty. One is enchanted and transfixed. And when the head strikes one has scarcely a split-second to move. and should the strike land, one has 5 minutes of euphoric dizziness and agonizing helplessness. The neurotoxin shuts down the diaphragm so respiratory system grinds to a halt. Lack of oxygen to the brain and limbs makes one feel life ebbing away. The heart desperately compensates by beating at 200 beats per minute - more than 3 times its usual rate. And finally it gives up. The last 10 seconds one can only surmise the last thoughts as the brain accepts the inevitable fact - slowly sliding into a spiral of inky black oblivion.

Monday, January 17, 2011

dad's birthday

Tomorrow is my father's birthday. He turns 68. Am planning to get him a surprise gift - a PeterEngland or AllenSolly dress shirt 42 size white color which is his favorite. Will step out during lunch hour and purchase the shirt.

tick tock

Today I ran for the first time this new year on nike+. I did about 3 km in Bangalore Indira Nagar Defence colony in the morning. This was after I went to Malleswaram for my usual Tue, Thur Sat 6am guitar class. I plan to keep these 2 activities (running and guitar) going steady for this year. I wonder how I can squeeze in my Talwalkar's gym routine which is currently suffering. I used to go to the gym in the mornings at 6am but now that seems difficult with the guitar classes and running routine. I could go in the evenings if I head out of work at 5:30. Will try that today and see how that works out. If that works out well I might actually keep an hour for gym work-outs in the evenings. 6:30 to 7:30pm daily.

Time is running fast - tick tock!

Sunday, January 16, 2011

awesome Sunday

In the last fortnight of this new year I have made many changes to my life. I bought an electric guitar and started taking guitar classes at Malleswaram in Bangalore with a guru called Seshadri. Yes! am learning carnatic music on the electric guitar. Am  signed up on the nike+ running program and am posting my runs on facebook site which is fun too. I have also started talking with a few people regarding publishing some of my short stories.

Yesterday was an awesome Sunday. Avinash Shaunak and myself played soccer in the morning at Sarjapur road and then hung out at the Garuda mall after lunch where they got some temporary tattoos done. This was a lot of fun. then we went down to Kalmane coffee and had some awesome filtered coffee. We aimlessly wandered around the mall which suited me. We headed back in the evening and did some clothes shopping. I picked some real nice t-shirts and dress shirts from Max retail outlet and then we also met up with Balaji Nerella from our office after 8pm and we all went to Croma, the electronics store to check out some discounts and deals. Namdhari was next door and Balaji did some grocery shopping. That is his favorite place to do shopping for groceries since one gets some niche products (some imported) which ones does not get in other outlets.

We all decided to then head out to Mamamia for some sinfully delicious ice-creams; Avinash had chocolate and I Shaunak had his favorite blueberry flavor and I had Praline and Nuts. The ambience was good and the presentation of the ice-creams was awesome! Highly recommend to everyone.

I went home and my head hit the pillow and I fell asleep with a smile on my face. I wish to fill my life with more such days!

Friday, October 15, 2010

16th october

I share this birthday with another quixotic person of his times Oscar Wilde, known for such quips as 'I am not afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens'
http://www.quotationspage.com/quotes/Oscar_Wilde

I was listening to Lynyrd Skynryd's Simple Man and Sweet Home Alabama on youtube. A good friend mentioned this band a few months back and I had almost forgotten them and just today was curious to find out how good their music is. The band has great quality. Great vocals, great groovy rhythm.... just loved it.

Simple Man
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sHQ_aTjXObs

Sweet Home Alabama
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RHsDa9_HSlA

Was also listening to Simon and Garfunkel. Their album Bridge Over Troubled Water came out in 1969 a year which is just so significant for many world events; moonshot being one of them. The number from the album
Sound of Silence is very popular, if the viewership count on youtube website of 3 million views at the time of this blog posting is any indication.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VflKiZzb4h4

I might have a few birthday resolutions; to gym daily, and remind myself to live free, and live free of fear and make everyday count.

Saturday, March 13, 2010

march madness

Greetings!
Dont ask me why this Mar 13th has been the first posting of 2010. No postings in Jan and Feb. Not that it has not been eventful. Hardly that. Looking back, I remember being extremely busy with a Samsung Annual Day celebration where I helped in organizing and participating in our department's Fashion Parade. We won the first place amongst 8 other departments and it gave us a great sense of accomplishment. Personally I realized that I could really inspire people and guide them towards a goal something I did not know I was capable of. Here some photos:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/27572036@N07

I did watch a movie at Forum mall movie theatre - Up In The Air. George Clooney was suave and gave a stellar performance. The story of a man who spends a lot of time travelling on his job and is detached emotionally is quite interesting.

I am going to visit Chennai for the first time this year on 20th March. Would be nice to reconnect with sister and brother-in-law. Looking forward to that!

The weather is warming up and I am considering purchasing indoor plants and also join swimming. Might also consider joining Jazz dance again after I dropped out in February. Am also thinking of upgrading my home audio system.

I have started collaborating with a very interesting group of individuals on some startup ideas. We have been having weekly meetings on fridays at 11:30pm IST and 1:30 US East Coast Time. So far this has been going on well. This has been on since feb 1st week and the energy is very positive! More on this later :)

While I was thinking of how to title this posting which is the first for March and also the first for 2010 (MMX in Roman Numerals) I thought of 'march madness'. I also thought of Lewis Carroll's character March Hare in Alice in Wonderland. There is one dialogue between March Hare and Alice in the story where the March Hare says "if you know where you are going you have a much better chance of getting there". There are many clever witty and absurd quips that March Hare makes which makes an interesting read. I will leave the readers with this:
http://www.imdb.com/character/ch0012245/quotes
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/March_Hare

So that's that.
Adios amigos!
-Prabhakar

Thursday, December 31, 2009

Avatar

This is the last blog of 2009. It has been a year which I probably would remember as a very quiet year. Very few events like marriages, engagements happened. On the career front also it has been a quiet year. No big wins. Nothing that would call for opening the champagne. All the same, 2009's most important value is in preparing me for what lies ahead 2010. I have so much invested emotionally in 2010 - career-wise and on the personal front as well.
Family is going to be a big aspect of 2010.
More vacations. Overcoming the travel anxiety and actually traveling abroad is one thing I am keen on.
Health is another aspect I am very keen on. Got to be more passionate about gym workouts and diet and one sport that I am regular and serious about.
Friends - that is another aspect which needs more attention. I feel I need to spend more time on my friends - make those bonds stronger.
Diary - I believe that one's most intimate and personal thoughts are entered into one's diary and regular diary writing is actually a great way to understand one's mindscape as it evolves over the years. I got a brand new diary and I am very keen on writing in it. - (stargate Captain's log... hehee)
Blog more often.
On the career front I am planning to be more aggressive and upfront when it comes to responsibilities and be take up many new challenges and learn. A better dialogue with my manager regarding my goals would also happen in parallel.
Dance - In the month of December I joined Swingers in Indiranagar for Jazz/salsa dance. I am doing pretty well. Keeps me in shape and also gives me one heck of a workout. I plan on continuing this
Details - Ration card, drivers license, IT tax forms etc., are pending. I am going to be more detail-oriented in handling these paperwork which has never been my forte.

I was watching the movie Avatar this afternoon with my sister and dad. we realized that this was the second movie that the three of us had seen together in a movie theater after ben-hur nearly 20 years back! Time flies! We don't live forever and so every breath is precious.

There was a saying in the movie - Every man is born twice. Once at the beginning and twice when he is accepted by his society. This was so meaningful. Will I be reborn in 2010. Will my avatar face 2010. In that case I pass the torch to my avatar tonight and sleep. My work is done> Hence forth I wish my avatar - Godspeed!

Saturday, July 25, 2009

Kargil 10 years later...

Today is the 10th anniversary of Kargil war between India and Pakistan which ended in a Pyrrhic victory for India. CNN-IBN news channel was conducting an interview with parents and youngsters to see if joining the Armed Forces was still an aspiration. Some were for it. Some were not. Watching this program got me thinking.

Later today, I was also reading the paper and it appears that China has relaxed the 'one-child' policy since their population is aging very quickly.

I took these two disparate pieces of information and extrapolated something interesting logic. Money wins over ideology. Sad but true.

The Chinese govt realized that to ensure that each household has only one child they would need to do something creative. They came up with a scheme which promised complete financial aid for the child's growth and education and health and for the family if the family adopted the 'one-child' policy. For a communist country like China this incentive was invaluable that the policy was adopted by couples very quickly. If they made a second baby the incentive was not available and they had to bear all the expenses for the two children. That was a huge disincentive to procreate. This effectively kept the population from exploding.

If China had announced that truth in plain terms as - "if our population explodes each individual will have less opportunities and less resources and a lower quality of life, so we must adopt this 'one-child' policy" would they have been successful in enforcing policy. Most unlikely. But when they threw some monetary incentives it worked! Money is the bottomline

Similarly, in the USA children who decide to join the Armed Forces have their Federal Education Loans (FAFSA Loans as they are called) waived. Which means after 4 years of service they are eligible to return at the age of 22 and go to college, fully sponsored by the Govt. For many children college education costs around $30,000 to $4 0,000 and this is not something they or their parents could afford. Also the family system is quite unstable in the USA relative to countries like India. So it is a reality that both parents might be separated or divorced and hence unlikely to provide financial support. This monetary incentive besides several other incentives make the option of joining the army very attractive.

Imagine some handouts with this message - "Please take up this risky job of defending our Nation. Your Nation needs you. The training will be rigorous and you will be deployed in extreme conditions in hostile territories like Iran or Afganistan or unstable Rwanda or Haiti. Personal injury and death are very likely statistically. But it is an honorable option and the Nation salutes your valour". Would these messages succeed in inspiring youngsters to join. A big "NO!"

Money again, in the form of Loan waivers and discounts on military quota seems to do the trick of inspiring people to enlist in the Armed Forces.

Moving on to my third and final case. India has a fantastic fauna and flora. But India is also notoriously apathetic towards wildlife conservation. Tiger populations have dwindled to mere hundreds in the wild. The future looks bleak. Animal rights leaders and champions of wildlife conservation are trying to send home the message "let us save our wildlife from extinction so that our children and their children will get to experience the beauty and grandeur of Nature". This message albeit being true has not marketability. No one is convinced. So lets go back to our drawing board and analyse this problem. Could we extrapolate from lessons learnt elsewhere. We already know we live in a cynical world. Truth is not enough. Something else is needed.

How about South Africa, Namibia, Zimbabwe and Tanzania. These are third-world countries with high rates in poverty and diseases. They could not care less about wildlife conservation. Yet, wildlife thrives. There are so many programs on Discovery TV channel on conservation in Africa. How come it works there and not in India. Simple! The South-African government has learnt how to make money out of wildlife tourism. Organized safaris and expeditions bring in much-needed foreign exchange. The tribals and subsistence farmers become gun-toting forest rangers who are actively involved in wildlife conservation. The tourism industry is having the side-effect of conservation. Truth be told, human race is destructive. We will not rest until we breed and multiply and consume all resources until our own existence is in peril. Does not speak much about the most highly evolved intelligent species, does it? Maybe the collective intelligence lacks foresight?

So India needs to market wildlife tourism. If and only if that happens, can we save the tigers the elephants the migratory birds, the Rhino and all the other magnificent animals. If we can find a way to market the concept of wildlife tourism, drive home the point that watching a tiger stalk a deer in the bush brings more money than selling its pelt to Nepali tribesmen, then we would have succeeded in saving the tiger. If the Ranthambore national park makes 10 times more money from elephant back safaris and guided tours from foreign exchange from tourists then the poachers would give up their lifestyle and become tour guides! The farmers who encroach on the sanctuary will stop clearing the land and start become forest rangers.

Money again is the bottomline. No other idealogy is stronger. Money can change the course of civilization and destiny. Sad but true. Once we have enough money and all known problems have been solved creatively (population control, wildlife conservation, peaceful coexistence of countries) then we can all sit back and rock on our chairs and ponder on a little thing that has been sidelined - truth. We are a curious species!

Friday, March 27, 2009

Dark Matter

I watched this movie called Dark Matter yesterday which was Mar 31st 2009 also Ugadhi festival day in Karnataka. I was able to relate to the subject of the movie. I was also a PhD student who dropped out of the program when I realized just how stifling it was. One has to align one's goals with the goal of the advisor otherwise one will end up being frustrated. Ofcourse Meryl Streep is her quintessential self. The struggle of an individual who enters the US from countries from Asia are very vividly portrayed. I was some scenes with one loud thought "that is me!" in that scene. The life of a broke penniless scholar student with his head full of cosmology theories is so real. I was that person not so long ago. I was one of the best PhD students as I blazed through my breadth exams in Artifical Intelligence Computer Graphics and when it was time for Human Computer Interaction the college told me that they did not funding anymore to support me. My low point was having $5 in my bank account. Sweet are the uses of adversity - says Shakespeare. He is not just a playwright but a prophet. His words are so uncanny and accurate. An advisor who went on a sabbatical for a year also did not help much. I remember the night when I made the choice to quit the program. I felt the floor beneath my feet had given way and I was falling. T protaganist in the movie who's theory of the Dark matter as an explanation for the Big Bang goes against the grain of his advisor's work and hence gains the displeasure of the advisor. Similarly I too had become a black sheep. But sometimes when certains doors close in life some others open. C'est la vie! Dr.Jacob Furst entered my life as he stepped in as my substitute advisor. He saved me by transferring my credits to a Masters degree and graduating me. If he had not stepped in maybe I would have returned to India dejected. God does send his angels in strange forms.

Sunday, December 21, 2008

Does GOD Blog?

I just could not resist this blog post title. Of course, if God did blog that would be interesting would it not? I surely hope God has a sense of humor when he reads this blog post.

Does God exist? A simple naive question like that throws open the floodgates for a whole slew of possible answers. Does it not? Is there even an answer, I wonder. If God does exist, what does God look like. Over the millenniums humanity has stretched its imagination to render some very vivid icons of God.

God has been represented as an elderly benevolent bearded man carrying a staff, as a man with 4 heads in 4 different directions, as an angry woman riding a tiger. Each symbolism surpasses the previous one or so it seems. Do we depict God in the likeness of human shape because we are vain and assume that we as a species are the most highly evolved?

But there are cultures where God is represented as something inanimate like a green tree or a fiery bush. Is it possible that God is formless and has a booming omniscient echoing voice. One wonders at these possibilities. What does the symbol say about the culture? Do sophisticated cultures represent God in more subtle ways and do degenerate societies indulge in grotesque representations. Who decides which is grotesque and which is sublime?

Do we need to see, touch feel God in order to believe in God? And if one does not believe in God is one doomed. And what does it mean to be doomed - does one lose the chance to enter Heaven. Does Heaven really exist. If so, does'nt living a good life suffice to earn to ticket to Heaven?

If one does not believe in God does that mean that that person is a bad person. What is a bad person anyway? Someone who does not conform in a general sense to the law of society? If someone challenges existing dogma instead of abiding by it, would that make them bad?

But if God created human beings without the ability to perceive God through the senses (touch, hearing, smell, sight) then does it not mean that God cannot expect the creation to know God.
But do we have the sense to perceive God and just do not realize it. Are dreams the channel to perceive God. What about conscience - is that a channel to speak with God?

Plenty to mull over. Not your customary light post-brunch musing on this delightful Sunday afternoon. Well, all this was triggered by a heated debate with my father and mother. I will post my thoughts on this subject soon. The year is ending. My blog posts this year have been sparse. But with the new year there is a resolution to be more phosphorescent :)

Monday, July 7, 2008

soliloquy

Some of us march gallantly. Some of us plod along. Some of us just seem to be waiting to start moving. For some the destination seems too far away. For some there is no destination. For some the journey itself is an ordeal. Some look forward convinced that they can reach their destination. Some are convinced there is a destination and that is whereever they stop. Some are more interested in the journey of others that they forget their own. Some like to follow the others willy-nilly wherever they go. Some lose their way. Some create a path. Some just guide the others. Some just misguide the others - Mere roadsigns wafting in the wind. Some are eager to move but their burdens weigh them down. Each step seems wearied. All the paths abut the river of Time as she incessantly flows.

'Bam! Bam! Bam! Hello! Open the door!'.

I was interrupted in my soliloquy. I open the door a crack to see a line of uneasy gentleman peering at me in the men's restroom. My thoughts come second to the urgency of their bursting bladders. So I quickly made my exit from the restroom and ambled along into the foyer of the hotel and looked left and right. What was I? A guide, a roadblock, a lost soul on this journey? I shook my head and wandered around leaving Leela Palace and entered the busy microcosm of Bangalore, weaving through the vast crowds. The humanity engulfed me. For a few seconds I hovered over my body and levitated higher and higher. My head, a small dot amongst several that bobbed up and down on a quilt of humanity moving back and forth on the thorughfare. A few ungulates disposed their dung generously on the pavements. Motorized vehicles sped along honking adding to the melee. The smoke from their exhausts rose up making the air thick and smelly. I could not see any birds in the sky. I did feel a quiet as I flew higher. I felt better. 'Up is good, down is bad' - I told myself as I hovered high above the building roofs. I took a deep breath and closed by eyes.

'Honk! Honk! Hey! watch where you are going!' - screamed an irate autorickshaw driver

I had strayed far too much onto the road away from the sanctuary of the pavement. I quietly stepped back onto the pavement. I knew now. I plod along. There was no escaping. The legs shall walk as long as they can. The destination was no where in sight. I look around me. I look up to the skies. I was the only one who was looking up.

Tuesday, September 4, 2007

musique est ma vie

Musique est ma vie or french for Music is my life! I got a soundtrack for lots of occasions, like at home, quiet listening, while driving etc., I listen to an assorted variety and my collection has grown over the years both in number of songs as well as the genre and artists.

YOU ARE THE MUSIC WHILE THE MUSIC LASTS - quote by T S Eliot

Monday, August 13, 2007

Low Profile

Hello,
I have two friends in Atlanta who are Raj and Soumya. Very warm and kind people. Raj narrated a story to me recently and since I love stories I listened. Raj hails from Srihari kota and Soumya from Vizag. The story goes like this:

Not so long ago in late eighties India was gunning for a Space Program. Augmented Satellite Launch Vehicle was a program that was to be the spear-head of many such programmes. Initially there was incredible hoop-la about this program.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/ASLV

Ofcourse, a lot of things in India get easily politicized. The then chief minister of Tamil Nadu(a state in India), the Chief Minister of Andra Pradesh(another state in India) and the Prime Minister of India (late Rajiv Gandhi) were all invited and made appearance at the launch site in Sriharikota. In 1987 there was a launch which was nothing short of a disaster. A repeat of that event took place the following year. And another failure was to follow in 1992. Since these events happened the culture of Sriharikota scientists has changed. They do not declare openly what is going to happen. They have shed their pompous way of proclaiming to the world their latest and greatest innovations. In all, the initial failures humbled them. Nowadays, one hears of a launch in the morning of the day of launch in a small section in the newspaper. I guess the scientists have had their share of bad ju-ju and now have a healthy respect for badluck.

Listening to Raj I realized an analogous concept applicable to humans. We must also play it down and be modest. I will keep a low profile and achieve success and let my success speak for itself. So that's that. This is just a small grain of blog posting for you. But there is enough to make you think, I think.

Best Regards
Your 'humble' author!

Friday, August 3, 2007

August August

This month is truly August in the sense that there is an august feeling in the air. Hope you understand. Named after Augustus Caesar it marks the short duration between a hot summer and onset of a cool autumn.

My blog would be terribly incomplete if I did not mention Maslow's Pyramid which is mentioned earlier in my blog of Aug 2nd(I think). The Maslow's Pyramid is a concept in psychology which tries to explain our motivations are human beings. Our actions are driven by motivations some hidden and some transparent. Uncovering the motivations will enable us to understand and predict our behavior. This knowledge is key to psychologists who try to help trouble clients by gaining an understanding of their motivations.

The base of the pyramid is the Need For Survival. This motivates us to eat and hunt for food and run and hide in a cave for shelter etc., Higher up in the pyramid above the Base layer is the need for love and togetherness and companionship and being in group because through years of evolution we have come to realize that strength in numbers ensures survival and also it is easier to find a mate and procreate species.

The third of the 5 layers in the pyramid is about secruity for individual and family. This is what makes us buy a home and buy a security system and burglar alarm. This is what makes us buy a dog for protection. We want to secure our family and protect spouse and children.

The fourth layer is social standing and respect related. Arnold shwarzanegger is now Governor of California. He needed to not just exist in the US society as a citizen and tax paying resident and a father to his family and husband to his wife but he wanted a social standing. He wanted a position in the society where respect and admiration are given to him. This is the fourth layer. This is the same motivation that drives us to throw parties once we achieve success and have get-together gatherings and share the good fortune with others. Human beings someone dont seem satisfied in just being successful or wealthy. They need to show it off to society and be recognized and respected.

The fifth layer which is higher up in the Pyramid is the need for self actualization. This means that one knows oneself and is at peace with oneself. Ideally at this phase one should stop yearning for more wealth and seek a tranquil retirement. One should stop pursuing materialistic things and look forward to a peaceful twilight to their lives.


I was discussing all this with Rishi Sinha in BITS Pilani in my second year of college and I told him how I wanted to do so much in life. Be a writer or columnist for the Times of India newspaper, be a volunteer at the hospital, makes scientific discoveries, be a good family man and raise great kids, go to Africa and help them build a well or a school in some impoverished areas and i kept coming up with more and more ideas. I am bursting with enthusiasm.

Rishi listened. He has thick glasses and his eyes look small through them. He squinted once or twice at me and said, 'Prabhakar the tip of the Maslow's Pyramid need not be in the clouds'. I was stunned. To this day I remain stunned. That is the ultimate answer to the question, 'What is my purpose and what should I do'. What I should do depends on what motivates me and what motivates me need not be an earth-shattering lofty goal. A simple goal as going to work on time and doing a good professional job and coming home and depositing pay cheque in the bank and driving safely so that I am not a safety concern for others on the road and paying my tax and being a kind person and having a kind word to say to colleagues friends family members is enough. I dont need to discover another element on the periodic table to reach self-actualization. I am already self-actualized. I just need to realize it. Besides after death I will end up in an urn as ash. All my dreams, aspirations, desires, passions and the sum total of all my consciousness will end up in a jar as ash. Since I know the destination can I not live each moment in the present time with more happiness. Surely I can make more changes now than when I am sitting as ash in a jar. I dont need to win an Olympic Gold Medal or invent something like Laser or discover something like Plutonium or a new computer language like C++ or go to warn-torn Africa and help in defusing the landmines and win the Nobel prize for Peace or save the rain forests from timber logging and save the planet or work for Nasa and go on a space walk with some other astronauts. If I make a phone call right now to my mom and tell her how much I love her and ask her how her day is going I am self-actualized. If I notice my colleague waiting for the rain to stop because he has not brought his umbrella and I got one and I offer to walk him out to his car sharing my umbrella - I am self-actualized. If I complete my deadline at office and my whole team is happy and we get a good name from the Director of company appreciating us- I am self-acutalized. If I come home to my wife and kids and I spend time with my son showing him how to build a Lego set and I help my wife in the kitchen with the dishes-cleaning - I am self-actualized. I can be stuck down on the highway by an eighteen-wheeler truck tomorrow and my last thought in my consciousness would be that I mean no one ill-will and I lived a complete life. I can close my eyes and drift in the thick murky black oblivion. Will it be life after death. Will I be cremated and end up in a bottle as ash. Will God receive me in Heaven. The rest is shanthi shanthi shanthihi!

Wednesday, August 1, 2007

The Pragmatist vs The Romantic

Hello Dear Readers,
Thanks for stopping by my blogsite. Dr.Phosphorus greets you and apologizes for short hiatus from blogging. I am just sharing some random thoughts again. Subject? 'Humanity' again which never seems to sate my curiosity!

As you might already know I tend to intellectualize everything. Some of the favorite things that I try to intellectualize are Life, Capitalism, USA, Love, Human Foetus, Women, Men, Future, and Knowledge. As is the case with most people who attempt to do that, I also feel that I must refrain from a ham-handed way of dissecting the most intimate feelings that we as human are wont to feel. Intellectualizing a topic like 'love' or 'friendship' does not mean the writer does not feel those emotions or does not believe in those feelings. If there is a seller of ancient lamps on the street who is hawking his products it need not necessarily mean he does not know the value of what he is selling. It just so happens he knows not just the value but also the worth of the product. I am one such person who knows the value and the worth of these feelings. As an aside, I have not sold any ancient lamps yet to realize this about myself.

Most people attack the person who intellectualizes the topics like 'Love' by saying, "So you don’t believe in it?" or "does this mean that you are a romantic or a pragmatist?" and so on and so forth. I tend to intellectualize even this reaction of the readers as follows: In life everything is not black and white and we find it hard to see a situation in an unpolarized manner. It seems like we need dualism to complete the picture. Night and Day , Black and White, Good and Evil, it seems like even the most intellectual amongst us seems uneasy in an amorphous definition-less holistic environment and we are tempted to draw lines to delineate and separate concepts. Why do we feel the need to do this? Why can we let things be? Do we need to put things in boxes and label them and stow them away. Will this classification of items in a strictly dualistic manner help us survive? Is that the motivation? Survival? I am aware of myself trying to do that. I restrain myself when I feel the urge. Here is a story from a Wild West movie that was first narrated to me by Rishi Sinha born April 27 (Aries) and my second year roommate in BITS Pilani Hostel. He went on to get his PHD in computer science from Southern California University. I hope I have not lost him in the madding crowds. He was someone who would engage me in these conversations. He did have some thoughts on the Maslow's Pyramid. More on that later. I wish you well wherever you are Rishi.

Once upon a time there was a sparrow. It lived in the Arctic region. As winter started approaching the sparrow decided to fly down to warmer climes. As it started migrating it felt so ecstatic and soared through the air catching a southern drift and sailing with it. But soon its wings became frozen and fatigued and it drifted slowly down to ground and landed on the soft snow. It sat there cussing and cursing how rotten its luck had turned out. It was very afraid that it would die there. Its thoughts were interrupted by a warm feeling as some cow dung feel on it head. More of it landed as the sparrow looked up to see a bovine dropping warm dung on it. Enraged at the cow the sparrow started yelling. But as the cow started moving away the sparrow started feeling better. The warm dung thawed its wings and the blood rushed to it wings and legs and it flapped its wings in joy. Now it could complete its migration in time to reach warmer climes. It joy was short lived as a cat sprang out of the bushes which investigated the source of the sound and gobbled up the sparrow.

Moral: Everyone who shits on you is not your enemy. Everyone who pulls you out of the shit is not your friend. And if you know you are in a warm pile of shit which makes you feel comfortable keep your mouth shut. (The language is befitting a Wild-West movie...)

I hope the story was illuminating as it was witty. Let us not digress.

So it seems like we humans need to take a stand. For or against communism. For or against Iraq war. For or against Global warming....etc., why can’t we accept communism to coexist with all other forms of government? Why cant we adapt it and develop on it and merge it with other forms of government and make a new one that is more suitable and equitable to all citizens. Another question for the reader is, ' the ones who don’t wish to see the world as a polarized dualistic one ...are they the arm-chair psychologists or no-good Utopians or passivists who don’t even believe in themselves. Looks like I am opening yet another can of worms. Just ruminate. Don’t respond.

There was a book by Chinua Chibi about the struggle for freedom in South-Africa. I fail to recall the book name which is probably Cry My Beloved. But in the book a white journalist who is writing supporting liberation and against White oppression of the Black people get robbed and murdered in his house. The irony being, that he was killed by Black kids in the ghettos: the very people he was writing to save. The author ends the book saying "Not all White people are bad and not all Black people are good". Enough said.

I guess all of us feel the urge to crucify the person who intellectualizes the concepts because we need to see things in black and white and the process of intellectualizing the concepts tends to break down this belief system and what happens when the life-sustaining belief system breaks down is that we panic and we release a tirade on the person who says something like "a human foetus is just a well adapted parasite". 'How can you say something so inhuman and insensitive'

I know a first year professor of medicine who talks about the foetus as a sophisticated parasite. What he was trying to do was to break down the belief system that and let the young doctors understand that treating the human body dispassionately is an essential aspect of the profession. We can pick a lot of topics like this one, Marriage being another.

Can multiple opinions coexist? Can we reach a state of mind where we have no opinions? Some people say 'I have no opinion' or 'no comment' when actually they are suppressing their comments. But is it possible that we can reach a state where we have no comment on subjects like Abortion which seems to be a controversial election make-or-break topic in the USA.

Well, plenty of concepts here for the unwitting reader who stumbled upon my blog site. Hope you enjoyed reading and hope I made you introspect. Until we meet again...take care!

Saturday, June 23, 2007

Fear and Pleasure

Fear and Pleasure

Recently I came across a book in the Barnes and Noble Bookstore in Atlanta. This was the life and teachings of Krishnamurti. Of late I had been confused about the right choices to make in life and had been under some stress due to work and as I ambled along through the aisles this book caught my eye. I said to myself "this might well be the antidote to my malady". Wishful thinking. Krishnamurti and all others like him, can at best hold a mirror in front of one and hope that one can look and observe and understand oneself. To think that by reading the book one can instantly enter a world of perpetual peace and quiet and "shanti" is just wishful thinking is totally impractical. Atleast for the 2 hours I spent reading the book I was peaceful but this placebo cannot be mistaken for the permanent panacea that I seek. So the quest for the eternal truth and peace continues.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jiddu_Krishnamurti

Fear and pleasure were lifelong themes in his public talks. The following is an excerpt from his talk in San Diego in 1970.

“Fear is always in relation to something; it does not exist by itself. There is fear of what happened yesterday in relation to the possibility of its repetition tomorrow; there is always a fixed point from which relationship takes place. How does fear come into this? I had pain yesterday; there is the memory of it and I do not want it again tomorrow. Thinking about the pain of yesterday, thinking which involves the memory of yesterday’s pain, projects the fear of having pain again tomorrow. So it is thought that brings about fear. Thought breeds fear; thought also cultivates pleasure. To understand fear you must also understand pleasure – they are interrelated; without understanding one you cannot understand the other. This means that one cannot say ‘I must only have pleasure and no fear’; fear is the other side of the coin which is called pleasure.

Thinking with the images of yesterday’s pleasure, thought imagines that you may not have that pleasure tomorrow; so thought engenders fear. Thought tries to sustain pleasure and thereby nourishes fear.

Thought has separated itself as the analyzer and the thing to be analyzed; they are both parts of thought playing tricks upon itself. In doing all this it is refusing to examine the unconscious fears; it brings in time as a means of escaping fear and yet at the same time sustains fear.”