musique est ma vie

Musique est ma vie or french for Music is my life! I got a soundtrack for lots of occasions, like at home, quiet listening, while driving etc., I listen to an assorted variety and my collection has grown over the years both in number of songs as well as the genre and artists.

YOU ARE THE MUSIC WHILE THE MUSIC LASTS - quote by T S Eliot

Low Profile

Hello,
I have two friends in Atlanta who are Raj and Soumya. Very warm and kind people. Raj narrated a story to me recently and since I love stories I listened. Raj hails from Srihari kota and Soumya from Vizag. The story goes like this:

Not so long ago in late eighties India was gunning for a Space Program. Augmented Satellite Launch Vehicle was a program that was to be the spear-head of many such programmes. Initially there was incredible hoop-la about this program.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/ASLV

Ofcourse, a lot of things in India get easily politicized. The then chief minister of Tamil Nadu(a state in India), the Chief Minister of Andra Pradesh(another state in India) and the Prime Minister of India (late Rajiv Gandhi) were all invited and made appearance at the launch site in Sriharikota. In 1987 there was a launch which was nothing short of a disaster. A repeat of that event took place the following year. And another failure was to follow in 1992. Since these events happened the culture of Sriharikota scientists has changed. They do not declare openly what is going to happen. They have shed their pompous way of proclaiming to the world their latest and greatest innovations. In all, the initial failures humbled them. Nowadays, one hears of a launch in the morning of the day of launch in a small section in the newspaper. I guess the scientists have had their share of bad ju-ju and now have a healthy respect for badluck.

Listening to Raj I realized an analogous concept applicable to humans. We must also play it down and be modest. I will keep a low profile and achieve success and let my success speak for itself. So that's that. This is just a small grain of blog posting for you. But there is enough to make you think, I think.

Best Regards
Your 'humble' author!

August August

This month is truly August in the sense that there is an august feeling in the air. Hope you understand. Named after Augustus Caesar it marks the short duration between a hot summer and onset of a cool autumn.

My blog would be terribly incomplete if I did not mention Maslow's Pyramid which is mentioned earlier in my blog of Aug 2nd(I think). The Maslow's Pyramid is a concept in psychology which tries to explain our motivations are human beings. Our actions are driven by motivations some hidden and some transparent. Uncovering the motivations will enable us to understand and predict our behavior. This knowledge is key to psychologists who try to help trouble clients by gaining an understanding of their motivations.

The base of the pyramid is the Need For Survival. This motivates us to eat and hunt for food and run and hide in a cave for shelter etc., Higher up in the pyramid above the Base layer is the need for love and togetherness and companionship and being in group because through years of evolution we have come to realize that strength in numbers ensures survival and also it is easier to find a mate and procreate species.

The third of the 5 layers in the pyramid is about secruity for individual and family. This is what makes us buy a home and buy a security system and burglar alarm. This is what makes us buy a dog for protection. We want to secure our family and protect spouse and children.

The fourth layer is social standing and respect related. Arnold shwarzanegger is now Governor of California. He needed to not just exist in the US society as a citizen and tax paying resident and a father to his family and husband to his wife but he wanted a social standing. He wanted a position in the society where respect and admiration are given to him. This is the fourth layer. This is the same motivation that drives us to throw parties once we achieve success and have get-together gatherings and share the good fortune with others. Human beings someone dont seem satisfied in just being successful or wealthy. They need to show it off to society and be recognized and respected.

The fifth layer which is higher up in the Pyramid is the need for self actualization. This means that one knows oneself and is at peace with oneself. Ideally at this phase one should stop yearning for more wealth and seek a tranquil retirement. One should stop pursuing materialistic things and look forward to a peaceful twilight to their lives.


I was discussing all this with Rishi Sinha in BITS Pilani in my second year of college and I told him how I wanted to do so much in life. Be a writer or columnist for the Times of India newspaper, be a volunteer at the hospital, makes scientific discoveries, be a good family man and raise great kids, go to Africa and help them build a well or a school in some impoverished areas and i kept coming up with more and more ideas. I am bursting with enthusiasm.

Rishi listened. He has thick glasses and his eyes look small through them. He squinted once or twice at me and said, 'Prabhakar the tip of the Maslow's Pyramid need not be in the clouds'. I was stunned. To this day I remain stunned. That is the ultimate answer to the question, 'What is my purpose and what should I do'. What I should do depends on what motivates me and what motivates me need not be an earth-shattering lofty goal. A simple goal as going to work on time and doing a good professional job and coming home and depositing pay cheque in the bank and driving safely so that I am not a safety concern for others on the road and paying my tax and being a kind person and having a kind word to say to colleagues friends family members is enough. I dont need to discover another element on the periodic table to reach self-actualization. I am already self-actualized. I just need to realize it. Besides after death I will end up in an urn as ash. All my dreams, aspirations, desires, passions and the sum total of all my consciousness will end up in a jar as ash. Since I know the destination can I not live each moment in the present time with more happiness. Surely I can make more changes now than when I am sitting as ash in a jar. I dont need to win an Olympic Gold Medal or invent something like Laser or discover something like Plutonium or a new computer language like C++ or go to warn-torn Africa and help in defusing the landmines and win the Nobel prize for Peace or save the rain forests from timber logging and save the planet or work for Nasa and go on a space walk with some other astronauts. If I make a phone call right now to my mom and tell her how much I love her and ask her how her day is going I am self-actualized. If I notice my colleague waiting for the rain to stop because he has not brought his umbrella and I got one and I offer to walk him out to his car sharing my umbrella - I am self-actualized. If I complete my deadline at office and my whole team is happy and we get a good name from the Director of company appreciating us- I am self-acutalized. If I come home to my wife and kids and I spend time with my son showing him how to build a Lego set and I help my wife in the kitchen with the dishes-cleaning - I am self-actualized. I can be stuck down on the highway by an eighteen-wheeler truck tomorrow and my last thought in my consciousness would be that I mean no one ill-will and I lived a complete life. I can close my eyes and drift in the thick murky black oblivion. Will it be life after death. Will I be cremated and end up in a bottle as ash. Will God receive me in Heaven. The rest is shanthi shanthi shanthihi!

The Pragmatist vs The Romantic

Hello Dear Readers,
Thanks for stopping by my blogsite. Dr.Phosphorus greets you and apologizes for short hiatus from blogging. I am just sharing some random thoughts again. Subject? 'Humanity' again which never seems to sate my curiosity!

As you might already know I tend to intellectualize everything. Some of the favorite things that I try to intellectualize are Life, Capitalism, USA, Love, Human Foetus, Women, Men, Future, and Knowledge. As is the case with most people who attempt to do that, I also feel that I must refrain from a ham-handed way of dissecting the most intimate feelings that we as human are wont to feel. Intellectualizing a topic like 'love' or 'friendship' does not mean the writer does not feel those emotions or does not believe in those feelings. If there is a seller of ancient lamps on the street who is hawking his products it need not necessarily mean he does not know the value of what he is selling. It just so happens he knows not just the value but also the worth of the product. I am one such person who knows the value and the worth of these feelings. As an aside, I have not sold any ancient lamps yet to realize this about myself.

Most people attack the person who intellectualizes the topics like 'Love' by saying, "So you don’t believe in it?" or "does this mean that you are a romantic or a pragmatist?" and so on and so forth. I tend to intellectualize even this reaction of the readers as follows: In life everything is not black and white and we find it hard to see a situation in an unpolarized manner. It seems like we need dualism to complete the picture. Night and Day , Black and White, Good and Evil, it seems like even the most intellectual amongst us seems uneasy in an amorphous definition-less holistic environment and we are tempted to draw lines to delineate and separate concepts. Why do we feel the need to do this? Why can we let things be? Do we need to put things in boxes and label them and stow them away. Will this classification of items in a strictly dualistic manner help us survive? Is that the motivation? Survival? I am aware of myself trying to do that. I restrain myself when I feel the urge. Here is a story from a Wild West movie that was first narrated to me by Rishi Sinha born April 27 (Aries) and my second year roommate in BITS Pilani Hostel. He went on to get his PHD in computer science from Southern California University. I hope I have not lost him in the madding crowds. He was someone who would engage me in these conversations. He did have some thoughts on the Maslow's Pyramid. More on that later. I wish you well wherever you are Rishi.

Once upon a time there was a sparrow. It lived in the Arctic region. As winter started approaching the sparrow decided to fly down to warmer climes. As it started migrating it felt so ecstatic and soared through the air catching a southern drift and sailing with it. But soon its wings became frozen and fatigued and it drifted slowly down to ground and landed on the soft snow. It sat there cussing and cursing how rotten its luck had turned out. It was very afraid that it would die there. Its thoughts were interrupted by a warm feeling as some cow dung feel on it head. More of it landed as the sparrow looked up to see a bovine dropping warm dung on it. Enraged at the cow the sparrow started yelling. But as the cow started moving away the sparrow started feeling better. The warm dung thawed its wings and the blood rushed to it wings and legs and it flapped its wings in joy. Now it could complete its migration in time to reach warmer climes. It joy was short lived as a cat sprang out of the bushes which investigated the source of the sound and gobbled up the sparrow.

Moral: Everyone who shits on you is not your enemy. Everyone who pulls you out of the shit is not your friend. And if you know you are in a warm pile of shit which makes you feel comfortable keep your mouth shut. (The language is befitting a Wild-West movie...)

I hope the story was illuminating as it was witty. Let us not digress.

So it seems like we humans need to take a stand. For or against communism. For or against Iraq war. For or against Global warming....etc., why can’t we accept communism to coexist with all other forms of government? Why cant we adapt it and develop on it and merge it with other forms of government and make a new one that is more suitable and equitable to all citizens. Another question for the reader is, ' the ones who don’t wish to see the world as a polarized dualistic one ...are they the arm-chair psychologists or no-good Utopians or passivists who don’t even believe in themselves. Looks like I am opening yet another can of worms. Just ruminate. Don’t respond.

There was a book by Chinua Chibi about the struggle for freedom in South-Africa. I fail to recall the book name which is probably Cry My Beloved. But in the book a white journalist who is writing supporting liberation and against White oppression of the Black people get robbed and murdered in his house. The irony being, that he was killed by Black kids in the ghettos: the very people he was writing to save. The author ends the book saying "Not all White people are bad and not all Black people are good". Enough said.

I guess all of us feel the urge to crucify the person who intellectualizes the concepts because we need to see things in black and white and the process of intellectualizing the concepts tends to break down this belief system and what happens when the life-sustaining belief system breaks down is that we panic and we release a tirade on the person who says something like "a human foetus is just a well adapted parasite". 'How can you say something so inhuman and insensitive'

I know a first year professor of medicine who talks about the foetus as a sophisticated parasite. What he was trying to do was to break down the belief system that and let the young doctors understand that treating the human body dispassionately is an essential aspect of the profession. We can pick a lot of topics like this one, Marriage being another.

Can multiple opinions coexist? Can we reach a state of mind where we have no opinions? Some people say 'I have no opinion' or 'no comment' when actually they are suppressing their comments. But is it possible that we can reach a state where we have no comment on subjects like Abortion which seems to be a controversial election make-or-break topic in the USA.

Well, plenty of concepts here for the unwitting reader who stumbled upon my blog site. Hope you enjoyed reading and hope I made you introspect. Until we meet again...take care!

Fear and Pleasure

Fear and Pleasure

Recently I came across a book in the Barnes and Noble Bookstore in Atlanta. This was the life and teachings of Krishnamurti. Of late I had been confused about the right choices to make in life and had been under some stress due to work and as I ambled along through the aisles this book caught my eye. I said to myself "this might well be the antidote to my malady". Wishful thinking. Krishnamurti and all others like him, can at best hold a mirror in front of one and hope that one can look and observe and understand oneself. To think that by reading the book one can instantly enter a world of perpetual peace and quiet and "shanti" is just wishful thinking is totally impractical. Atleast for the 2 hours I spent reading the book I was peaceful but this placebo cannot be mistaken for the permanent panacea that I seek. So the quest for the eternal truth and peace continues.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jiddu_Krishnamurti

Fear and pleasure were lifelong themes in his public talks. The following is an excerpt from his talk in San Diego in 1970.

“Fear is always in relation to something; it does not exist by itself. There is fear of what happened yesterday in relation to the possibility of its repetition tomorrow; there is always a fixed point from which relationship takes place. How does fear come into this? I had pain yesterday; there is the memory of it and I do not want it again tomorrow. Thinking about the pain of yesterday, thinking which involves the memory of yesterday’s pain, projects the fear of having pain again tomorrow. So it is thought that brings about fear. Thought breeds fear; thought also cultivates pleasure. To understand fear you must also understand pleasure – they are interrelated; without understanding one you cannot understand the other. This means that one cannot say ‘I must only have pleasure and no fear’; fear is the other side of the coin which is called pleasure.

Thinking with the images of yesterday’s pleasure, thought imagines that you may not have that pleasure tomorrow; so thought engenders fear. Thought tries to sustain pleasure and thereby nourishes fear.

Thought has separated itself as the analyzer and the thing to be analyzed; they are both parts of thought playing tricks upon itself. In doing all this it is refusing to examine the unconscious fears; it brings in time as a means of escaping fear and yet at the same time sustains fear.”

Spiderman 3

Lori Smallwood a very sweet and hardworking Irish woman was my classmate not so long ago in the computer graphics class in Chicago. She joined Sony imageworks almost three years back and started working on her first project Spiderman 3. Today I watched it on the bigscreen AMC theatre in Atlanta near Cumberland Mall. It has taken nearly 3 years to get it ready because it takes so much time for rendering all those computer graphics and special effects.

Almost everybody I met said this 'The movie is hopeless and dont waste your money'. I was not surprised that they said this. Spiderman 3 is not for everyone. It is meant for a very thorough comic book enthusiast and fan. Only a few people grow up with comic books. I remember Isaac Asimov mentioning in his autobiography that he used to read them voraciously. It is a nice way to stimulate the imagination through vivid story-telling images. And since I was such a big comic book fan I loved this movie. I will say it again. I LOVED THIS MOVIE. You may compare with part 1 and 2 or you may not compare it with any of the previous versions and with other superhero movies. All the same the movie is great! Special effects, storyline (which is expected to be a big exaggerated and didactic as most comic book storylines are) cast all two thumbs up. My first theatre movie after nearly 6 months or more. I have been going thru some tough unsettling times lately and I am happy that I was able to choose a way out. I love the ending of the movie which seems to reflect my state of mind. 'the choices we make reflect who we are'. i walk away with those words resounding like the bell in the churchtower belfry in the movie. thanks for reading.

Questions and more Questions!

There are some questions for which there are no answers.
There are some questions for which there are many answers.
There are some questions which must be ignored.
There are some questions for which silence is the answer.
There are questions which take a lifetime to answer.
There are questions which should never be asked.
There are questions which should never be answered.
There are questions which are answered with a question.


I will add to this list...

Interesting movies...

We are approaching the 2nd century milestone after Slave trade abolishion in 1807. Today I watched Amazing Grace a nice movie on slave trade abolishion. Another movie I recall on same topic was Amistad. Over the last weekend I watched Powder a 1995 science fiction movie I think. I actually liked it. I think hollywood has a nice timing this time to launch this movie around the 200 anniversary

"Feeling Good!"

Good Morning Folks!
I dont know if you are ready for this post. Brace yourselves!
I have a friend at work called John Tykskinski. He smokes a lot of Camel cigarettes. Drives roughly 40 kilometres to work and 40 back. Shows up at office at 7am and leaves at 3pm. Has a great laughter. A generally nice guy. He's a scorpio - birthday is Oct 24th I think. He is a mystic. Now!! Wait a minute! What was that? Yes he is a MYSTIC.

For those who don't know the meaning, he is the 'modern' version of the holy saints of India. - the ones who claim they have no materialistic wants and attachments.

Some points that I gleaned from talking with him are listed below:
1. We are ALL selfish, including you, me, your parents, my parents, their grandparents, founding fathers of America, prophets, godmen, every man and woman and child ever born and ever will be born - SELFISH

2. One cannot live unless one dies.

3. Dying is a choice.

4. You are not one entity but YOU includes the machinery or body which needs comfortable clothes, clean air, tasty food, sex. So YOU can technically die as each version of YOU dies one by one. All the layers of YOU can die at different points of time in the duration of your life. When all the 'ONION' layers die what is left is NOT 'nothing' but everything.

5. The Universe is one giant 'genuine' intention.

6. Willingless to let go of wants - otherwise called a genuine intention creates a window into the universe.

7. The stars are out there even during the day. we cant see them because there is a brighter obstructing light - the sun. similarly we cannot live our life because our wants consume us. in effect almost all of us with the exception of a few 'mystics' never LIVE our life. We have given up freedom. We don't have wants. Our WANTS have us. We are mere addicts. Addicted to the idea of 'FEELING GOOD' feeling.

8. Dont believe anything I say.

9. Are we the machine? Movies like the MATRIX (which a lot of people dismiss as just a hollywood cult movie aimed at video gamers and nerdy computer programmers) have made a lot of money exploiting this simple concept. But the underlying idea is quite profound. Try answering that question 9.

10. Behind every fear is a want.

11. Imagine two things like WANTS and REALITY. When they are close to each other you are happy . Example "I want a bicycle for my birthday and father bought me one" - I am happy. When the distance increases one becomes unhappy. Example: "I want a job at Microsoft but I did not get through the interview" . I feel unhappy.
There are a million situations which cause unhappiness in human beings. Is there something one can do to avoid unhappiness. Yes. STOP DOING.

11. If you follow the logic so far you will realize we always react to something or the other in the enironment and when we dont react to external events we react to our own thoughts. So we only REACT and NEVER ACT. Is that life. Is that choice. Well that is the marvellous unseen machine that has come to define YOU and ME.

12. The machine is not so bad. In prehistoric times the machine helped HUMAN RACE survive. But now it has taken control of our lives.

13. There are 3 things one can (and eventually will end up doing) do when unhappy.
a. Satisfy the WANT. (For example above , 'I will study harder to get into microsoft')
b. Stay in a state of frustration and bitterness (For example above: 'I feel so bad I did not pass the interview. I think I am unlucky. I feel so sad. Oh God! I wish I knew what to do. I am tired thinking about this. Let me sleep. Tomorrow might be a better day! Let me call my girlfriend, atleast she thinks I am not a loser...')
c. Get Rid of the WANT. (Simple but very difficult to do. For example above: "I give up the want/desire to join Microsoft)

option C above is the way of the mystics. letting go. as one lets go one will realize that a portion of the person dies. this is calling 'peeling the onion' layer by layer. Does this mean one ends up being uptight and unemotional and detached and indifferent to all is going on around the person. The answer to that is to be explored by each person and experienced. This cannot be answered since what you will find when you open that door and entered cannot be described. Why it cannot be described clearly is because we do not have a vocabulary to define it. It is like saying 'how do you like this Picasso painting?' to a man blind from birth. He has never seen any colors or shapes or textures. So YOU cannot describe the painting. If you tried HE cannot understand you. Why? he does not have the antenna to receive your message. For the same reason you cannot produce a color photo with a camera loaded with a black and white photofilm. So John when describes how he felt and what he experienced to me he must try to compare that feeling to something that I understand and have experienced. Something like 'Prabhakar what I experience when I gave up my wants was bliss, like drinking honey, or hearing beethoven, or watching a rainbow forming, or being caressed by a velvet cloth and so on and so forth'. John, by the way said that these things are nothing compared to what he experienced. Ofcourse what IT truly is, is something I and YOU must experience for ourselves.

15. To self-examine, 'Ask why? and answer honestly'. Since you are talking to yourself you can attempt to be honest. But being honest with oneself is so hard! Try it.

16. Letting go of a want starts with initially just 'considering' letting of a want. Know this, this process threatens your machine that rules your life. The machine will fight back. How? Notice how you react when you say, 'I dont want that job at Microsoft'. When the machine which is lodged in your psyche hears you saying this aloud it gets threatened and fights back to regain control of YOU and you will notice about 20 to 30 thoughts being generated all leading to a sense of insecurity. For example 'Oh my God! If I give up this want to join Microsoft I will stagnate in my current job' or 'all my friends are there and I am stuck in this dead-end job', or 'i want to make more money and if i dont join microsoft i wont make enough money'....this list of statements is almost limitless. Why does the machine generate these messages. So that YOU can be controlled and reined in. YOU will feel insecure and withdraw from the state of antogonizing the machine. Try this with any of your other wants and see how you react. Notice the machine's characteristics. Knowing the machine is important if you seek to be free of it.

17. All of your emotions, anger, righteousness, uprightness, grace, shyness, arousal, jealousy etc., can all be re-created by some chemical injections. What! Yes, if i give you a shot of serotonin you will feel good the same way you feel good after a nice night of good sleep. If i give you a shot of adrenalin you will get active and energetic the same way you would if you were preparing for an examination. You now understand what I am trying to convey. If I say 'I hate you!' with a rude look on my face, your eyes perceive it and your ears hear the words and convert light and sound into the electrical impulse of the optic nerve and auditory nerve carried to visual and auditory lobe of the brain which sends an electrical impulse through a motor nerve to facial muscles which move to form a frown and the brain sends another impulse to the language center of the brain which controls the tongue which makes you say 'the feeling is mutual my friend!' . this is one possible reaction.

A mystic hates no one and loves no one.

18. Wow, this mystic thing sounds cool. How do I become one. The intention seems wrong. 'Becoming a mystic would lead me to become cool!' - this is searching for an easy way out. There is none.

19. The path to becoming a mystic is a painful one. Why? Letting go of wants is dying. Dying is painful. Why? Letting go of wants is the same as letting go of addictions. Have you seen a cocaine addict going through rehabilitation. They go though depression and withdrawal syndromes. We are no better that this addict. A different addiction but the same effects.

20. Meditation and reciting some sounds like Ohm and Maa can help in clearing the noise and focussing the mind. The machine can be temporarily suppressed and you can attempt to peel those layers after that.

21. So this John Tykskinski seems confused. Does he wear crazy saffron clothes and eat fruits once a day and have long beard like Indian saints. No! he enjoys his hamburger. Is clean-shaven and dresses in plain formal office wear. He shows up on time and attends meetings and is very professional.

22. 'I am a Christian, I cant do any of this Hindu thing since it is against the Bible'. Well this has nothing to do with religion. The Ohm and Maa are mere sounds. Meditation is just an action devoid of religious attachments. John has no religion. He also thinks scientists and religion preachers are alike. Science is a religion.

23. How to actually 'peel the layers'. - DECIDE to let go. And follow through by LETTING GO. Start with small wants. And slowly let go of the bigger wants. Be prepared for depression. You might be so depressed that you wont show up for work. 'A LOT OF THINGS WILL GO WRONG SO DO NOT DO THIS!' will be a loud voice in your mind. Identify that voice. Isolate it. Know that it is the machine and nothing but the machine that is yelling for help because you are ready to pull the plug on the machine. It is a voice of desperation. Good luck peeling those layers. Good luck dying because then you will know what LIFE really is!

24. 'Wait! You make it sound so easy. is it?' - No. This is the toughest thing yet that you have done in your life ever. Simple but very difficult.

25. let me walk you through one casestudy. 'I am already 29. Most Indian girls my age are already married. I must find a man soon. Someone smart looking and caring and kind. So that parents dont bother me. So that other married women dont make me feel uneasy. So that I can make a baby soon. I dont want to end up like a lonely spinster knitting a woolen sweater...'
WAIT!
Identify the want. Notice what it does to you if it is not satisfied. You can satisfy it by searching more for a husband and going out and dating and meeting new men. Or you can stay in state of frustration. Or you can get rid of the want to get married. 'oh my God! then I will become lonely and die alone!' - That is the immediate voice in your head when you merely play around with the idea of giving up searching for a husband. That IS the machine yelling. Identify it. Meditate. Decide. Let Go! I DO NO WANT TO GET MARRIED. Execute your decision. You died. Notice the life after that for yourself. That is a SMALL WANT to let go. Most wants are interconnected. For instance, 'Oh no! I want to get married' can be connected to 'I want to be loved and cared for' and so on and so forth. Notice the peel within a peel. Some of the BIGGER wants are those like career. ' I want a promotion',and 'I want a job. If I dont have a job I will die of starvation.' Give up the promotion and the job. Die. Notice your performance at work after you give up wanting a promotion.

26. Women feel, men think. So men are better at controlling situations and following the option 'a' above of satisfying the want.

27. Some wants...
I want a promotion in current job
I want to be supportive to aging parents
I want to fight in Iraq against the terrorists
I want a beautiful wife
I want to join Microsoft
I want to be pretty and adorable
I want to be a stand-up comedian like Jay Leno
I want to join Indian Institute of Technology
I want to do social service like Mother Teresa
I want to become a great writer like Salman Rushdie
I want to swim across the English channel
I want to win an Olympic medal for India
I want to be remembered after I am dead and gone
.
.
.
The list is truly endless. Keep letting go of each one of them. The first one is tough. The rest will come down like a house of cards.

I will continue this blog posting in a few days time.... there are more interesting ideas that I talked about with John. I might inadvertently have done a big favor to you by revealing all this. That would make me 'feel good'. What an addict I am to this 'feeling good' feeling!

28. Do you have a soul, does your dog have a soul, does the flea on the dog have a soul, does dust floating around have soul, do atoms have soul, do trees have soul...what is soul? This was something he asked me and I just smiled at him. Ofcourse I needed time to reflect.

29. Everythingt hat ever was already is, everything that ever will be already has. This was something he said to me and I am still perplexed.

Why 'Dr.Phosphorus'

Sometimes we feel the need to explain. It is not like the audience requires it. It just seems to be in our nature to explain. Hence I am doing so now.
Why did I choose this blog ID 'Dr Phosphorus' when I could have chosen something else. Is it just a unique name or is much more? Is it a concept? Is it a message, a hidden identity or meaning that I wish to convey? The questions spew out...WHY?

Well Dr.Phosphorus is character in DC Comics. I was an avid reader of comics in my childhood and in one of the editions Batman is confronted with Dr.Phosphorus who was a scientist before he met with a terrible accident in his lab that leaves him deformed but capable of super human strength. He becomes bitter and decides to wreak havoc on Gotham City by plundering banks and jewelry shops. He is virtually unstoppable since his body's energy level escalates as his metabolic rate increases and he starts burning like phosphorus which as you might know, is a substance that burns at room temperature. Even batman finds this adversary difficult to handle but pities the scientist-turned-crook and traps him by wrapping him with Batman’s' indestructible cape. This smothers the scientist's burning body by cutting off the oxygen and he quietens down. A very interesting storyline and plot!

What most people don’t realize about me is that I have all these comic characters like Batman Spiderman Batgirl Flash Gordon Phantom Tarzan Superman and all their adversaries battling it out in my head as I walk on the street and while I attend an interview or when I am eating my sandwich! These comic characters are my friends and they are in my head!

Now what is the connection? I do feel that I burn up on the surface with emotions reacting to so many external events just like Dr.Phosphorus. I empathize with this mad scientist who has been doing experiments and has met with an accident that deformed him and he needs people to understand him. On some level I guess I am appealing to people to understand me and give me my space when I appear to be reactive. Of course I notice that as years pass I am not so reactive. The Zen of life is truly descending on me as I age. Thanks for reading. Over and out!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dr._Phosphorus

orkut site contents relocated to here

One of the disciples of Dalai Lama rubber-necked and peeped into the seemingly holy scriptures that the Lama was referring to on his lap while meditating. To his utter astonishment, instead of Buddha's teachings it was O'Reilly's C# for beginners edition 1. 'With the global IT revolution taking over, we got to be prepared' grinned the wise man to his disciple.

NIIT Chennai has started evening classes for off-duty traffic policemen, vegetable vendors, dhobis (washermen) and such people to learn Oracle 9i. I realized this recently when I stopped at a traffic light in Chennai. The traffic constable grins at me "Do you know what Sybase Stored-Procedures are?" I gaped open-mouthed as he waved his wand and said, 'Green light mister. keep moving'. I sped from that spot, quite dazed.

Ofcourse everyone knows about the miracle baby born in a Government Hospital in India. Its father was a simple construction worker earning minimum wages, mother was a house maid doing chores for minimum wages and the baby weighing in at 6 pounds smiled at the nurse who delivered the baby and spoke its first words within the first 30 minutes of being born - "microsoft...glug! glug!". Media flash-bulbs went off in a frenzy at the IT baby, a boon to India.
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If you share my passion for poetry read this for imagery:
http://glenavalon.com/rubaiyyat.html
and the controversy surrounding it:
http://www.geocities.com/sitabhra/khayyam/fitz_crit.html
and
http://www.columbia.edu/~gm84/gibtable.html
(I love what Gibran has to say about thought being a bird of space which in its cage of words can indeed flap its wings but cannot fly....profound!)

Love my passage through BITS Pilani.
If you are a BITSian out there somewhere and you should chance upon my website do not hesitate writing to me.

videos.yahoo.com, videos.google.com and youtube.com have plenty of videos with several themes free to watch. I watch a lot of dance choreography since I used to do that a lot in college. (have I become an old dog that cant learn...?!) Just a rhetoric dont answer that!:)

I am a big movie buff. I have listed some of my favorite movies below.

Big-time fan of this guy Mr.Bean (Rowan Atkinson)
http://www.geocities.com/TelevisionCity/Stage/1570/pics.html
That a guy can turn into a cartoon character is quite hilarious!

I am a fan of TinTin, Asterisk Obelix, short stories of O. Henry, Jeffrey Archer, Greek Mythology (unmatched imagination in my opinion), and science fiction like Asimov and Greg Bear. My serious hobby is writing poetry and short stories and I am happy to say they are print-worthy material.

Another hobby is raising fish: http://fish.mongabay.com/
I am still not ready to raise Discus fish which is kind of a challenge... workin' on it!!

I have an ecclectic choice of music ranging from metal to trance to ethnic and indian music. I have listed some of my favorites.

Thanks for reading my profile and Good Luck! I leave you with some quotes:
"My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher. "-Socrates. (I already am one!)
"If all you got is a hammer everything around you looks like a nail" - Anon.
"Perfection is attained at the point of collapse" - James Stroustrup.
"I am not sure how the World War III is going to be fought but I know how the World War IV is going to be fought - using sticks and stones"
-Albert Einstein
"If there is a way to overcome the suffering, then there is no need to worry; if there is no way to overcome the suffering, then there is no use in worrying."
-Shantideva

Two posts in same day!

Currently I am relocating all the orkut site's contents to this new blog site. Readers complained that if I had too much contents in the About-Me section of orkut then I come across as being conceited and egotistic and trying too hard to impress. Since when did talking about oneself proudly - about one's accomplishments, one's life, one's beliefs and ones interests become boring to others?

Maybe orkut is not a forum to post the contents; who knows... But blogging seems to captivate my imagination now so I will post my messages here. Yes orkut might receive a step-motherly treatment from me for a while. Or maybe I will be able to share my affections between this blog and orkut. Lets see!

I got to be more frequent with new blog postings

Today I watched a movie called An Inconvenient Truth by Al Gore. Each one has a different genre of movies as a preference. Some say they like Chick-flicks like Legally Blonde, some say they are into horror movies because they want the thrill-factor so movies like SAW part 1, part 2 and part3 seem to delight them, and there are those who are into TNT movies; they just tingle top to bottom watching Frank Sinatra crooning away or Fred Astaire and Judy Gartand tap-dancing in some 1950's movie; there are those who love drama - a nice mix of life events family reunions, a sprawling ranch where a large family grew up and where a storyline invariably involves one kid in the family going to war and how war changes their lifestyle and so on and so forth - drama, drama drama; and I have not even started talking about Western movies, international movies with quaint subtitles and translations, science fiction movies, animated movies, special effects movies and the list seems never-ending. Lumiere brothers would be stunned at what their little invention - the film has spun off - a booming industry lofted high on the shoulders of its patrons - us the avid viewers enraptured by the moving images.

Well my long suffering reader the message is clear - SAVE THE PLANET. After watching this documentary I sobered up and decided to do my mite everyday for the planet. The first thing I could think of doing rightaway was to email to all of my friends to watch this movie. Spreading the spirit and consciousness is as much important as anything else in this concerted effort to save the planet.

If you are a like-minded friend become my ally and fight the forces of destruction that elevate global pollution, global warming, global climate change and make this planet green and peaceful.

Thanks for reading. Over and out!